Dear Bitch on the bus: Please stop talking to me about Halloween. I’m on the fucking bus to Boston at 7pm on a Friday, I obviously will not be dressing up this year. Judging by your muffin top spilling onto my seat, you’re dressed as a type II diabetic.. Warmest regards, Matt
Palin says she is back to wearing clothes from her...
kjohnson: The store’s name? Out of the Closet. (via Jezebel) you can put a Tiffany bow on a turd, but it’s still a turd
I wanna be you for Halloween but I can’t fit 7 dicks in my mouth– ecards
I'm never in right place at the right time →
Dear L train groper: Thank you for making my day. Keep fondling New York, Matt
Email I just received...
bunkercomplex: cupcakesandcouture: In a local restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08” tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference—just imagine the coincidence. When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute...
This town is so absurdly predictable.
justsayjolie: I pretty much hate it when people use the blogism “presented without comment” because, um, guys? THAT’S A FUCKING COMMENT. But this seems to require a “presented without comment” so I give you the following moment of Massholery, presented without comment: Within ten minutes of sitting down at the bar last night “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Rock and Roll Band” came on. You need...
next time a schmuck in my office brags about their Alma mater, I’m going to remind them that Bush went to Yale & Harvard
i don't see color
I’ve been struggling for a week to find a tanning salon in my new neighborhood of Bushwick and it just dawned on me that everyone in my neighborhood is already tan
dazzlingdelta: not attractive (to me) and looks like a douche. why would girls want to sleep with him? alcohol
let's keep it in perspective
hey straight women, please don’t send me links to your bridesmaid dresses, I’m gay and single and couldn’t even get married if I wanted to in my own state. I’m not Tim Gunn, I will attend your wedding but please don’t expect me to care about it.
mr. nice guy
so I have decided to try and become a more positive person, I’m 29 years old, finally have a nice apartment and a good job. I have goals that are realistic but sometimes my own cynicism brings me down and I’m sure it affects the people around me. I went to college in Boston and lived there for 10 years and I still have that “Boston” mentality where you don’t make eye...
Logic is a bitch, ain't it?
feistyred: justsayjolie: “I’ve been single for five years and you know, I’d like a boyfriend. Preferably not someone else’s.” “It shouldn’t be hard for you to find a boyfriend, right?” “Well, I’ve been single for five years, so yes - it would appear that it’s hard for me to find a boyfriend.” I will say to you what my mother always says to me, “boys are intimidated by you.” I actually think this...
although I love that I’m gay there are some drawbacks as well, like when straight people complain to me about being single when I only have ten percent of the population to choose from..or mothers always think that I’m perfect for their daughters..yeah…the only reason you like me is because I remind you of yourself when you were my age or no straight man would ever stick around...
in response to the recent influx of pictures of coworkers’ children floating around the office, i’m going to keep a jar of Prego on my desk and replace the label with a sticker that says “Lil’ Johnny”
um..yeah..seriously? my favorite part is upon... →
is there something in your eye?? no?? you're just... →
this is why people should have to take a test in... →