December 2009
30 posts
ohh man, I really liked them →
welcome to a Florida Christmas
Father: We're so excited to see you, we're going to buy you a honey-baked ham for Christmas dinner.
Me: Umm, I'm going to Courtney's Parents for Christmas dinner, I thought I told you.
Father: What? Why?
Me: Because her parent's don't have a pre-lit rotating tree with where half the lights have shorted out.
Father: It's art, Matt
things that make me happy:
watching Christopher Reeves chewing on aborted fetuses and then lifting cars over his head. (without South Park, I don’t know where I’d be)
making bourbon balls w/Jolie and getting shitty drunk.
and pretending that I work in the Designing Women office and I’m the prettiest/slightly chubby one.
It’s pretty sad when your life is so consumed with work, school and homework that you actually look forward to doing laundry because at least it’s mindless..If I could just start a jewelry line/botox addiction, maybe I could be on Real Housewives of the Lower East Side. Instead of a Range Rover, I could just haul my ass around on a shitty 10-speed bike from 1983.
