water into wine
me: should I dress up like Jesus on Easter?
dad: sure, but we're not religious.
me: I remember going to CCD after school when I was a kid.
dad: that was only because your mother's AA meetings were held in the back of the church.
I wish President Obama would trade 25 million of our people for their like 2.5 million of their people to help boost our economy. He could just send buses to the projects and tell ‘em they won a free trip to Foxwoods or something..
me: Why's there a picture of a dead toddler on your screen saver?
coworker: It's my nephew, sleeping..
me: Either way, it's inappropriate