very thankful to be gainfully employed in NYC
me: check out the requirements for this internet start-up internship our professor emailed to us: We are a travel/media online company in the start-up phase, with our business just launching this month seeking an intern with a Graduate Degree (or in latter stages of classes) with a minimum GPA of 3.75 with strong verbal and written communication skills. We are looking to refine our existing...
either the guy at The Coffee Bean has a crush on me or he is constantly high - because he never charges me for my bran muffin..guess I’ll roll with it because I aint above free food
new employee shine dulls quickly
me: well I guess the honeymoon's over..the new guy is already ignoring everyone and shutting his office door..maybe its time I discuss our "open door" policy with him
coworker: you need to tell him that we're like a family here
coworker: ..you know, the kind where the mother locks the children in the basement for 15 years
me: and lets the dad rape 'em..
sign that you're fucking nuts: you're already...
future ex-husband berates me in front of our friends/dinner guests and tells me he’s filing for divorce. me: “I’m not playing this game with you. We’re both intelligent adults - let’s not act like this, especially in front of our friends.” future ex-husband: (throws a crappy vase from West Elm, walks out sliding glass door) me: (I turn to our friends)...